Wear, Watch, Want #199: The Hot, Traitorous Cone Edition
Wear: Ice Cream Cones
Ok, you don’t “wear” ice cream cones, but I make the rules and they totally count. I have a new habit of eating an ice cream cone every day, and let me tell you, it is as much an essential part of my identity as gray sweatshirts, so yeah, I DO wear them. ON MY HEART. It all started with something I saw on Twitter.
I saw this and went, “Seems smart!” and then immediately forgot about it. Then I went on a trip to the beach and ate multiple ice cream cones and it all came back to me. I could have this experience AT HOME? I could just BUY ice cream CONES? So I did. The ones in the tweet are cake cones which are the devil’s business, so I got a box of waffle cones and a box of sugar cones at (you guessed it)Target.
I already own two ice cream scoops, because I am civilized, but they’re both from Home Goods for like, $5. (I have two so that I can always be scoopin’, even if I haven’t run the dishwasher). I like using ice cream cones for two reasons 1) Less dishes. Plus, you can make yourself a cone, sit down, eat it, and you’re done. You don’t have to pause your TV, or stop reading, then get up and put the bowl in the sink or the dishwasher. 2) It makes a smaller amount of ice cream last longer. MIND YOU: I do not care at all about portion sizes. Eat as much or as little as you please. But I DO care about how many times I have to go to the store, so if I can make a tub of ice cream last till my next Target run, all the better for me. In a bowl, you’re scooping ice cream, and chasing it down before it melts. In a cone, you’re licking ice cream (maybe a lil’ bite here or there) and pushing it down the cone, so one (or two, or three) scoops last a lot longer than in the bowl.
It’s SMART. It’s EFFECTIVE. It’s FACILITATING a couch potato LIFESTYLE. Cones 4 Life.
Watch: The Mole
Let me set a scene: It’s January 2001. I’m in 8th grade. We (meaning everyone) only have standard def TV, no one knows who Anderson Cooper is, and our only option is to watch TV live. And my family loves The Mole.
It’s the early days of reality TV, but there's already a precedent for making contestants eat gross stuff and generally debase themselves. But The Mole is different. Contestants are traveling across Europe, staying in private rooms in nice hotels, and eating multi-course meals. The group gets challenges, each worth some amount of money to be added to the collective pot. If they achieve the goal, the money is added, and at the end, one person will win it all. But there is a traitor in their midst, and their mission is to prevent the group from winning. At the end of each episode, the contestants are all given a test on (what now look extremely clunky) laptops to see if they know who the mole is. The person with the lowest score has to leave.
There were two seasons of The Mole, and two celebrity seasons (there was also apparently a 5th rebooted season in 2008? This is the first I’m learning about it). I asked my parents, and all of us ONLY remember the first celeb season with Kathy Griffin. The first two civilian seasons of The Mole are on Netflix now, but the celebrity seasons are the real jewels. I don’t know which celeb is holding things up, but we can only hope they get over themselves and let Netflix have all the seasons, so we can relive the delight that is The Mole in its entirety.
Want: Air Conditioning
I don’t know if you’re aware, but it’s going to be around 100 damn degrees in Western Washington this weekend. This is… atypical. I was still using my heat in EARLY JUNE, and THAT is typical for this area. I thankfully have central air in my house, but it’s never been used. I decided to try it out this week, in preparation for Hell Weekend, and it didn’t work. I felt like I was living in this commercial that I and every millennial has memorized for some reason
Someone is coming to fix it, and it should be fine, but there’s a special kind of stress that comes from having central AC in a place where it’s virtually unnecessary, then having a record breaking heatwave, THEN finding out your AC is not functional.
