The Homemade Body Scrub For Fewer Aches and Smoother Skin

I have arthritis. With it comes a lot of fun, wild symptoms, plentiful aches and pains, and also being told pityingly “You’re so YOUNG” over and over every time I’m at the rheumatologist (my actual rheumatologist doesn’t do this, she is wonderful). I was at the rheumatologist a few weeks ago, discussing my various pains and aches, aches and pains, and she recommended I take epsom salt baths.

“I don’t have a bathtub.” I told her.

(When I mention that I don’t have a bathtub, the response is always “You don’t have a bathtub?!” as if I didn’t just say I don’t have a bathtub. People who have been to my home and been in my bathroom can’t believe I don’t have a bathtub. IT’S FINE.)

She said if it wasn’t a pandemic out there, she’d tell me to go to a gym with a hot tub or a sauna, but since it was NOT advisable to go hang out in a steamy, vapor-filled public place, and I didn’t have a bathtub, well… I guess I should just keep doing what I’m doing! I knew there had to be some hack for non-bathtub havers to reap the benefits of an epsom salt bath, and it turns out there are a lot!

I read a lot about magnesium lotions, which seem fine, but just about all of them also contain menthol, and after years of Salonpas use I can tell you I do NOT want to smell like menthol all the time. I used to plan out my Salonpas usage around showers so that I could avoid being a menthol monster, and now I don’t even use the patches anymore! Not worth the hassle! But then I read about turning epsom salts into a body scrub. And that seemed worth a try.

The recipe I used came from this Healthline article I found by Googling “epsom salt no bathtub.”

1 cup epsom salt (I use this one)

1/3 cup oil (they recommend almond, olive, or coconut - more on that later)

1 tablespoon of vitamin E oil (I use this one)

I make the scrub in a mixing bowl, and store it in a Talenti Gelato container (you can remove all the print on the outside of the container with acetone. The lid will still say Talenti, but it’s not nearly as noticeable as having nutrition facts and a SKU on the side of your body scrub). IMO, Talenti is pretty pricey, but when you reuse the containers, it’s actually not that spendy in the long run.

Freshly mixed (ie melty) scrub in a cleaned out Talenti container

Now for a fun story about coconut oil and me feeling FOOLISH. I read this body scrub recipe and thought, “Oh, I have a huge container of coconut oil at home. I’ll use that.” Then I got home and realized I’d have to melt the coconut oil to mix it all together. (If you know one thing about coconut oil, it’s that it’s solid at room temperature. If you know TWO things about coconut oil, it’s that the refined version doesn’t have the coconut smell or taste, and if you are ME, that is why you only buy refined.) “Fine!” I thought, and here’s where my brain just failed on me. My actual thought was, “It’s being added to salt, so that will keep it from going solid again.”

THAT’S RIGHT. I confused FROZEN with ROOM TEMPERATURE.

Does epsom salt work the same way rock salt does? Could you put Dr. Teal’s on a puddle to lower the freezing temp and save yourself from a potential slip? I have no idea. Outside my old apartment in LA, a fairly large puddle would form after it rained, and someone kept putting salt in the puddle. The puddle of water. In Los Angeles. I always thought, “What fool is doing this?” And now here I am, thinking epsom salt with keep coconut oil from solidifying at room temperature. The point is, if you use coconut oil, your body scrub will solidify eventually. When I went to use this scrub the next day and was surprised by the state of things, then realized my error, I laughed at myself for a good long while, and you can feel free to do the same.

Solid scrub, a potentially shocking result, if your brain is on vacation

BUT I actually think using coconut oil, and having your homemade scrub solidify, is preferrable, and not just because I did it in error. If you’ve ever used a deep conditioner, body scrub, or any in-shower product that comes in a tub, you know that it is not ideal. You have to open the tub and scoop product out, and then water gets in the tub, and product is slipping out of your hands and then it just washes down the drain. It’s a mess literally, figuratively, and financially. When I say this scrub goes solid, I don’t mean impenetrable, I mean easy to use. You have to use a bit of force to scoop it, and if any water gets in the tub, you can easily flip it over and pour out the water without losing product. The solid state also allows you to use the precise amount of product you need, and apply it exactly where you want. Your body heat, and the heat of the shower, will loosen the scrub and make it easy to spread, but only once you actually want to get scrubbin.

I’m not sure if this scrub has the same result as soaking in an epsom salt bath, but it is definitely nice. I feel like the aches in my feet and shoulders are lessened after using this scrub on them, but it could be that it just relaxes me and that makes things hurt less. One thing for sure, this scrub makes my skin feel amazing. And by making it yourself, it’s much more affordable than buying a pre-made scrub.

Note: If you’re using a Talenti jar, it will hold just shy of a double batch of this recipe.