Wear, Watch, Want #201: The Lost Musical Biker Edition
Wear: Aerie Offline Goals 9” Bike Short
I’m old enough to have spent my childhood wearing bike shorts almost exclusively. THE look for a child in the 90s was bike shorts with an oversized tee shirt, and it was FASHION. Here’s proof:
That’s me, complete with a Capri Sun and some flip up sunglasses I got from a cereal box. This outfit was iconique then and I dream of that kind of ease and comfort now. Lucky for me, The Kids are into the 90s, so bike shorts are EVERYWHERE. I tried on a LOT, but couldn’t find anything just right. They squeezed my thighs in a way I did not appreciate, and it wasn’t until I started Googling things like “bike shorts big thighs” that I realized it was the leg seam that was doing me dirty, AND that Aerie makes bike shorts without a bottom leg seam, and they are THE bike shorts for juicy thighs. I bought two pairs.
It’s only the 9” Goals Bike Short that doesn’t have that pesky seam, but that’s fine - I’m not interested in bike shorts that are actually hot pants. I had no idea what size to get, so I got this patterned one in a large and black in an XL, mainly because they didn’t have a large black available. Turns out, the large fit better AND the patterned shorts are very cute, so I exchanged the black one for a large when they were back in stock, and now I wear these shorts all the time.
I will say, sizing on these (and almost all athletic/leisure wear) is kind of weird and I’d highly recommend ordering multiple sizes and then returning what doesn’t work. For example, My hip measurement isn’t even ON their size chart, and my waist measurement puts me at an XL, but the L is what fits. Sizing charts can be helpful, but also deceptive. Also, I have learned that Aerie is like The Gap: Never, EVER pay full price. If there isn’t a sale now, there will be one in approximately 40 minutes.
Watch: Schmigadoon
I love musicals, and if there’s one thing that’s universal about people who love musicals, it’s that we love to criticize musicals. This is how you can tell Schmigadoon is made by musical lovers. The music is good, it’s not disparaging of the genre, but it is gently ribbing the genre. There are references to classic musicals all over the show, and I’m sure I don’t even know plenty that are obvious to someone else. Example! Schmigadoon itself has a lot of outdoor scenery - that’s clearly built on a soundstage. True heads know that this is in reference to Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, which was filmed entirely indoors, telling a story that often takes place outdoors. That’s because MGM was convinced it wouldn’t make any money, and instead allocated a bigger budget to Brigadoon, so Seven Brides had to film on a stage. It looks… ridiculous. And Brigadoon was a flop and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers was a smash, and now every musical nerd gets to tell this story to anyone who will listen. (Ignorant people will often wrongly critique Seven Brides for Seven Brothers as being about Stockholm Syndrome. These are the same people, I assume, who also wrongly believe the best wintertime song ever, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is about sexual assault. Listen: BOTH are about horny women, please learn about context.)
Each episode of Schmigadoon starts with title cards and credits (classic), over the Schmigadoon theme, which I have a question about: Is it so close to “Oklahoma!” and then takes a sharp left to drive people insane? (This happens with most, maybe all, other songs as well, but the overture is what gets me every time.) Because it makes me feel UNWELL, and maybe that’s intentional? If so, well played, fellow dweebs. WELL PLAYED.
Want: Sunglasses
I do not lose things. I just don’t. But I have lost my sunglasses. I am baffled. I have absolutely no idea where they are, and my case is also missing, which is even stranger. I have been under a lot fo stress lately, and I think that has warped my brain a little bit and causing me to do completely uncharacteristic things like lose my belongings. They could truly be anywhere. So I need new sunglasses. The ones I misplaced were from Warby Parker, but I’m wondering if I should hit up Zeelool for this pair I’ve been eyeing since I first mentioned my favorite bespectacled TikTokers.
